Today is Sunday. I sure hope it is better than the other days. Somedays I just want, well you know. So, far so good, its only morning though. I just want an ordinary day, no stress, no hangups or screaming.
Seems like everyday is like the rest. Nothing new, just the same day after day. I just want to wake up and have a different type of day. You know, the type where you smile, laugh and enjoy the day for what it is.
I am just rambling on at this moment. I just want to be happy and try to make friends, but i have a problem trusting people, so that is going to be a challenge.
Just got out of the shower and took another pain pill. Maybe that will make me feel better who knows. I have to be careful though, not to go off count, my dr would freak. the situations with meds lately is crazy, they all feel that everybody gets high on them or something. I have been on pain meds for 20 years and then some. It is past the point of addiction.
Another problem in life.
Well, i haven't heard from my son today. That is good, he has been giving me such a hard time and calling me names and acting out of it. I wish he would take the meds he is suppose to. He hates his life and blames me for everything.
Why is it allways someone elses fault for someones failure or mishaps in life.
I know i am rambling again.. His son has been here since last Wednesday and when he calls he doesn't even ask to talk to him. OMG, he says he can't. I wish i knew how my son came down with this chemical imbalence in his brain. I so wish he would take his meds and get better. He is making so many lives stressed as well as his own.
Having someone come down with a mental illness, especially your son or daughter is devistating and can be so stressful and he doesn't even realize he is sick. So many days i wish life was different, but i guess this is gods plan i just can't figure out why..... I hope that you have a comment to leave or maybe a suggestion i can try. I need some happiness and i feel so alone and i cry all the time. I am so tired, so sad. Help Please. Can anyone see this? does anyone know how i feel everyday? If you do, i need your help, because what i am doing is just bringing myself down more. each and every day.
More later. lets see how this day proceeds.
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