Another day in paradis

Today is Monday, August 10th 2009

What a hot day. I didn't do much today. Went to Lowe's and got some flowers. It was like i had to go and spend money, I was feeling blue today and when i spend money it makes me feel better, not spending the money, but buying something. Its like I went through this crafty phase and i went and bought all kinds of stuff for crafts and scrap booking. That was fun, but it ended. Then i totally redid a room in my house for my crafts and painted it purple, my fav color and put wind chimes all over the place and put posters up and it looks cool. I think i was trying to relive an age that i missed or something. Feels good when you are doing something different, but then it ends.

Do you ever notice everything ends. Just think for a moment of something besides the earth and sky that doesn't end?

Enough of that. Today wasn't as bad as yesterday. I forgot to take my Vavance. 1st time forgetting. Well, I will tell you, I was so dragging yesterday, couldn't get out of my own way. When I figured out that I forgot to take one of my meds, by then it was late in the afternoon and if I took it, I would be up for hours and hours. You are probably wondering what vavance is? It is a pill like Ritalin. It is for ADHD. My DR gives it to me to get me out in the world and come energy to do something. I have been in a deep chronic depression for a few years now. The pill makes things a little better, I feel awake and can get moving and do somethings. They also put me on abilify, i just stopped taking that one, it was making me gain weight. I hate that. But, I will say that when he first put me on abilify I was able to concentrate and get some things done that i haven't been able to do in years. Sucks that it makes you gain weight. Can you imagine, stopping a med because it makes you gain weight. People think that is crazy, but you have to be the one taking it to understand. And that is another story.